The Battle of the Rusty Stick

The Battle of the Rusty Stick

The wormhole ripped open the peaceful space of IWZ, shattering the normal quite and taco party underway. Boss D looked up seeing the burst of light and energy bath space about him, how beautiful it was. We can’t have that, he mused and called up Drang. Boss searched and found a enemy POS tower, Drang called the vaunted Yulai Bomber Fleet to action.

The beauty on the other side though suddenly erupted into into a vision of horror as hundreds of stealth bombers poured unendingly through the rift in space, filling space momentarily before they cloaked and warped off. Blue Yulai Death poured endlessly through and headed off for mass destruction and devastation, our battle song blasting over the comms.

The Yulai Bomber fleet tore through space, their target a Legion of Death POS tower left foolishly untended in wormhole space. Loaded with beer, cookies and faction torpedoes (whats money when you’re epically rich?), the mighty bomber group landed and engaged the hapless tower, its defenses useless, actually non-existant, and hot fire poured forth, devastating the rusting stick. Blow by blow, hit by hit and blast by blast the rusting tower rocked and quaked, its shields crumbling.

Suddenly from the void a Proteus landed and opened fire on a non-cloaky Kestrel in fleet, the poor pilot unable to cloak or flee before a flaming death overtook him. Faced with the bombers massed firepower though, the opportunistic Proteus fled the scene and bombardment recommenced, and our Kestrel pilot reshipped as was back in minutes.
Explosions tore the rusting stick of a tower, millions of torpedoes raining down in a never ending cascade of golden flame death.. Fifty percent, twenty-five percent, the defenses crumbled before our eyes in minutes and the hundreds of YF bombers just flung volley after volley away. Comms were abuzz with singing, beer was passed around, one clever pilot had an I.V. drip of moonshine going directly into her arm. Midway through we ran out of cookies and someone had to go back and get more, and a scathing mail was sent to the alliance supply sergeant about proper provisioning, I later heard he was fired.

Victory was almost torn from our grap though, for out of nowhere, well actually from another wormhole entrance, but for all practical purposes nowhere came a red fleet hell bent on busting up our party. At first it seemed millions of ships were landing on us, but it turned out to be only 6 or 8 and after a brief interruption, a bubble, and another casualty the reds fled back to the nowhere they came back from and we returned to our mayhem.

After what seemed mere minutes, the fleets goal was at hand as the rusting Minmatar tower shuddered and quaked as the last volley’s struck home. An explosion of epic magnitude then erupted, we were virtually speechless as the blast consumed and washed over us, bathing us in its glory. More beer was handed out, the YF victory song was sung and the mighty bomber fleet gathered up their empties and headed back to IWZ and Yulai Federation space. The only litter we leave behind are the wrecks of our victims and their corpses, not cans and bottles, and thank you for recycling.

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Images have been taken by: Roboto Chan
Slightly over exaggerated report by: Deathwish Drang.

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